Before we get into how to stop obsessing over someone, it may be advisable to know first what obsession is all about. Obsession means to “preoccupy or fill the mind of someone continually, intrusively and to a troubling extent”, and therefore to stop obsessing over someone, you should first recognize that you have come to that extent. By this definition, it is also important to realize that the trouble is caused in both people’s lives, and is a really big problem to any relationship.
To stop obsessing over someone like an ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend, you first have to recognize the symptoms and signs that indicate that you are doing this. Signs that you may be obsessing over someone:
- Stalking them, and constantly appearing at places that he would likely go to
- Checking their Facebook, MySpace, Twitter page constantly
- Creating false profiles and email accounts to get in touch with, or test them
- Calling and texting them several times a day
- Constantly checking your accounts to see if your they called or texted
- Wanting to know why they left you
- Not leaving the house because you’re afraid to miss a call
- Loss of Appetite
- Constant Mood Swings
- Planning to Revenge
If you are doing any or all of these things, then it is absolutely clear that you still love your Ex, but may be taking your breakup and any chance to makeup straight into an Abyss, which you may not be able to get out of very easily.
Sometimes, Obsessing over someone can make you do bad things, such as revenge, and lying to them, which only makes things worse. What then would be the point to get together with them if only to find out about your dishonesty later on?
Tips on How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone
The things that you have to do to stop obsessing over someone are actually the opposite that you would probably do at this point.
1- Accept the Breakup
You first have to accept that a breakup is happening! You have to tell yourself that you’re going to be okay with that, and that you want to begin your process of moving on. This enables you to relieve the excess tension on the idea that you can’t live without your ex. It will also give you and your ex more room to think about your relationship.
2- Stop Acting Out of Desperation
The second thing that you have to do is to Stop acting and seeming desperate to both your own self and to your ex. No one likes to be around desperate people anyways because they don’t accept anything except their own opinions. This is probably the most important step to stop obsessing over someone because it will prevent you from doing things that can get out of control, so avoid this at all costs.
3- Stop Communicating
After calming things down in your mind, you have to reduce communicating with your ex. This will enable you to take control over your own mind again, and will allow you to look after yourself. When you do this, you’ll become a better person to yourself, and will give everyone a lot more space to think. That may even bring your ex back to you.
Reducing communication means giving up the stalking, the calling, the wondering if… and all the other actions pointed out previously.
Reducing contact with your ex is by far the most difficult step to take when you want to stop obsessing over your ex, because it’s a time when it seems that you’re giving up your love for them, when in fact it’s quite the opposite.
4- Be Patient
This step is basically a loop cycle to remind you of the previous three, which makes the steps stronger. You have to be patient with yourself and your ex if you want to stop obsessing over someone. Do not rush into any conclusions, discussions, and making up with your ex either. Take it calmly and patiently, and you will see that it all comes back together.