Break ups make us act weird, no doubt about it. Much of the email I get on my relationships blog deals with people who can’t stop doing lame things when their relationship ends. In fact the most common plea for help I get is “how to stop calling my ex after a break up?”
We all know constant calling is a dumb thing to do, but something in us just wants to make everything right again. We crave contact with our ex and very often this results in making constant calls and sending tons of text messages.
Wrong move though!
It gives us a temporary sense of hope, but it also pushes our ex further and further away. Truth is, your ex has shown they want a break and your calling just makes a bad situation worse.
Here’s the plan I give to people who ask me nearly every day what the best, “how to stop calling my ex after a break up” advice is:
1. Try and put yourself in the position you are putting your ex in. How would you feel if you had gone through the pain of a break up and your ex just kept calling and messaging? When you put the shoe on the other foot you soon realize how peeved your ex must feel at just not being able to get some space.
2. Think of a way to divert yourself from calling each time you get the urge. Promise yourself that you will put your phone away where you can’t see it for at least ten minutes when you first get the urge to message or call. Very often, that break between having the thought and picking up the phone is enough to stop you from foolishly making a call.
3. Think about how lame and needy you look if you keep behaving this way. Truth is, no one likes someone who is needy and clingy. Not only that, we all know inside ourselves when we are acting really dumb and it makes us dislike ourselves. Don’t put yourself in the position where people pity you and talk about you behind your back! Take back your self esteem and win back your self confidence by resisting that urge to call.
Obviously, when you have the constant urge to contact your ex you don’t want to be apart and would probably do just about anything to get back with them. And equally as obvious is the fact that you don’t have a clue what to do to handle this situation and how to act to win your ex back.
What you need to do is put this ‘how to stop calling my ex after a break up’ advice into action and gain some control. Once you have done that, you then need to find a proven course of action to help you get your ex back.