“How do I get back together with my ex” is a question that shows up almost daily on romance and relationship related blogs, forums, and all forms of online communities. This indicates only one thing: people are getting too impatient with their spouses/partners so that they break up with them while they don’t really want it to end that way.
Asking this question repeatedly means a lot of breakups are mistakes that people regret later, sometimes after it’s too late. So, if your ex hasn’t got involved in another relationship yet, I suggest you take advantage of his/her availability and use the information in this article to get back with your ex.
First off, don’t push your ex on getting back with you. It’s important to be persuasive and make your ex know you want him/her back, but pushing doesn’t work. Think about it, do you like pushy salesmen? Would you buy from them even if you really like what they’re selling?
Think of yourself as the sales person and your ex as the client, if you are pushy and he/she wants to get back you might get an adverse reaction. Now imagine that he/she doesn’t want to get back with you now, if you push you get even further from each other than you are now.
So, no pushing, just follow this trick:
Write down a list of things you think should be changed about yourself so that you become more likely to be accepted back by your ex. Think from his/her perspective. What is it that made it hard to work it out? Then send that list to your ex, and ask him/her to modify it so that he/she helps you become a better person.
Sometimes this trick works right away. But most of the time you’ll need to get all the way through before you see results.
Before you send that list to your ex, work on the one thing on your list that can show a pretty obvious result and is easy for you to do. Then make sure this change is perceived by your ex when you see each other.
For example, my wife, although never complained directly to me or to anyone I know about it, but she always felt that I need to improve my physique. After a short break up, I started doing body-weight exercises and got back in a shape I don’t remember having in my twenties. Then I approached her with my list and made sure my physical change to be on top of the list and that it was obvious my new physique shows off during out meeting.
She ignored this point for a while and kept complaining about other things, but since I showed her practically that I can change if I put my mind into it, she settled down for getting back together after giving me her modified to-change list.
May be I was so persuasive, or she really wanted to get back with me and waited for me to take the first step, but from my experience with other friends this approach doesn’t work that fast.
After you get the modified list start working on improving what your ex doesn’t like (if you really want to get back with them and keep him/her for life). Make sure they get the news quickly that you are working on the list and are improving before you propose a reunion.