For a lot of people, breakups are the worst of all nightmares. You normally can’t sleep, eat, rest and relax because every time you look at something, it reminds you of your past lover. Getting over an ex is never easy for most people. It takes determination and willpower to overcome your emotions and live through it each day. If you want to know how to get over an ex, then this article will certainly help you to focus on moving on with your life.
Things You Should Do
Here are some of the things that you should be focused on doing. You’ll need to follow these instructions to the letter so you’ll know how to get over your ex.
o Allow Yourself To Grieve. You should probably do this first (therapists recommend it). Although, this doesn’t mean that you should cry yourself to sleep every night (For guys: it’s OK to be melancholic for a day or two, but no more than that). You’ll be stronger for it; and in the morning, you should take on a positive mindset in order to overcome the next steps.
o No Contact. This is probably the most important thing you should do when getting over an ex. Don’t try to make any sort of communication with that ex of yours or you’ll most definitely go crazy. Don’t do anything silly just to get your ex’s attention or you’ll end up being a stalker. You need to be very strong and gather your shattered heart back into place by following a strict code of silence.
o Stop Idolizing Your Ex. This means that you should stop reminiscing about how wonderful he or she was. Your ex should be demoted to lower ranks in your list of priorities. Stop trying to associate good things with your past lover or you’ll just end up missing him/her.
o Keep Yourself Occupied. Find some things to do like going out with your own friends or focusing on your work. Keep yourself busy and treat your breakup as if you just got out of jail or something. Putting yourself in this mindset and exercising your newfound freedom by meeting new people or doing things that your ex didn’t approve of (within reason) is one of the great methods of getting over an ex.
o Avoid Your Ex’s Territory. You should try to steer clear of places where your ex hangs out. His or her friends might be there and you’ll certainly feel most unwelcome. If it’s unavoidable, and that the places you like to hang out are the places your ex likes to hang out too, then just stay out of his/her way and ignore him/her. Live your own life or create a new one. Try not to let that new life cross over to your old life or it’ll just be another reminder of your ex.
o Throw Away Objects That Remind You of Your Ex. You need to throw out all the stuff that belongs to him/her so that it won’t cause anymore heartaches. Although, you don’t really have to throw them all away especially when you really like that PlayStation 3 he/she gave you as a present. Just pick the ones that remind you of the pain and discard them all out of your life. Getting over an ex means that you have to learn to let it go.
o Try To Avoid Arguments Over Property. Here’s a tip: You can’t take a gift back because it’s not yours anymore (unless it’s a really expensive diamond ring that’s supposed to be a symbol of your relationship). Avoid silly arguments like wanting to take back your shirts, pants, DVDs, or other little things. If your ex decides to bring them back to you, accept it and say no more.
o Remember How You Were Mistreated. Whenever nostalgia comes knocking at your door, it’s recommended that you stifle it by remembering all those bad things that happened to you because of your ex.
There are some things you should know when you’re in the process of getting over an ex. Here are two specifics just to be clear:
o You have to absolutely be sure of yourself and know that you really want to get over your ex. Get some closure so you can be sure. You’ll probably need to ask your ex if he or she still loves you or not. Just make sure to do this before you begin the ‘No Contact’ rule of silence.
o Dating other people and sleeping with them after a few weeks into your breakup can be a temporary fix for your restless mind. But this is not a guarantee that it’ll heal your pain. It’ll still linger, so you need to accept that. Time happens to be the only effective remedy.
It’s important to know that when you’re getting over an ex and you do all those things mentioned above, you’ll realize that you’ve really become stronger. Surviving the breakup phase which is probably a couple of months or so (though that isn’t accurate), leads to roads and possibilities that you thought would never happen. It makes you look more confident and even downright sexy because you’re independent again. This happens to be the time when you’re more likely to see your ex on different occasions. You’ll be OK with it and see him or her in a different perspective. You’ll also realize all the wrong things you’ve done too, as well as the bad decisions that you both made. In short, this is the time that you’re going to be absolutely sure if you still love him or not.
When everything’s clear, and you realize that you still love him, then perhaps you should try to win him or her back. The methods mentioned above concerning getting over an ex meant that you needed to shed your current pitiful self so as not to push your ex away. There are better methods to win back your ex than being clingy.