Tom works long hours and Elizabeth rarely sees him. She feels neglected. Elizabeth spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Tom feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs? Is there hope for this relationship? Should it be saved? Here’s how to save the relationship.
First, you must decide if the relationship is worth saving. Almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, when both parties decide that they want to make it work. But, if one partner has decided to call it quits, it will take a lot of prayers, patience, and persistence to try to put the relationship back together, but it has been done before. There is hope.
Some people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children. But those reasons are not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties and a belief that the relationship is worth saving.
Next, you must point out the problem or problems in your relationship. One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is knowing the difference between the symptoms and the problem.
For instance, many people think an affair is the problem that caused the break up. But the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For example, a lack of true intimacy may lead to a straying spouse. Most people would look at the affair as the problem, but the underlying reason for the affair is the lack of intimacy in the relationship.
If you do not solve the issue of a lack of intimacy, you may be able to delay another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another situation such as pornography could arise because you haven’t dealt with the core issue. When you start to deal with core issues instead of the symptoms, you have a good chance of saving the relationship.
Once you have identified the main problems, you can start sharing your thoughts and feelings with each other. This means both speaking up and saying what you think, and also letting your partner express how they feel. Hold your partner’s hand when you are talking with them about the problems as a signal that you sincerely want to work things out, even when your emotions are swirling.
When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that they are not doing it to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship. Both of you are searching for the answer to solve the problem and get your life back together.
Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, write them down and create an action plan to solve them. If you are not spending time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. If finances are tight, buy an ice cream and take a romantic walk. The time special time together is what is important!
Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together at least once a week. If communications are lacking in your relationship, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed each night just talking to each other. Notice, I said talking, and not arguing, then do it!
Finally, you need to understand that saving a relationship is an on going process. You will make some progress, and then fall back a step or two. There will be both laughter and tears during the struggle, but it will be worth the effort. Be slow to anger and quick to forgive.
Is your relationship worth saving? (Only you can answer that) If you believe that it is, then I hope the advice in this article helps.