In this video Rory discusses the steps to win your ex back in a manner that is healthy, self-reliant, and potentially life-changing.

If you’d like coaching on your situation please visit www.thelovechat.net/coaching

Until next time!

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43 thoughts on “50. Win your ex back the RIGHT way.”

  1. See I heard this video to late. Cuz went my ex was breaking up with me at the time that they did. I was beginning pleading crying trying to change her mind. Trying to talk to her out of it. So now is it to late for me to win this person back into my life. Please shed some light into this doubt of mine. Thanks hope to hear from you soon.

  2. Hey Rory how can I show my ex the new version of my self if we're ldr?is it thru social media? Some of coaches advice is to not over posting. I didn't get it. .pls give me your advice

  3. An ex is just what it is,,,a person that walks away from you once, can't be trusted not to do it again,,true love is unconstitutional..And there's to many other people in this big world to have to go backwards.

  4. How about if she dumped you over a fight, after 2 year serious relationship (marriage talk, family get togethers, plastered as a couple all over social media etc), then a month later you find out she started seeing an ex from 3 years ago again? Definitely not a typical rebound… I fear she is gone forever?

    Really loved her and her son, have been NC for going on almost 4 months now.

    She has our photos all over her social media, every photo even intimate ones, pics of just ber son and I, even pics of ONLY me! Yet is posting pics with her ex too now. We aren't on each other's social media but someone told me, so… It's confusing AF, can you offer some insight here?

  5. My ex dumped me 20 days ago. Unfortunately she saw i was torn when she talk to me, but i don't beg or plead her. Just say say good bye and hug her. Then I've never reach out her. We met just once on the street and I just say "Hi" smiling. Now I'm trying to focus on myself. I hope this time pass so fast so i can move on with my life

  6. Hi Rory , I was dumped and went into no contact ever since.
    3 months later she texted me ( " Hi . Hope your doing ok " ) I was shocked so I replied back the following day. We had a great casual conversation. Nothing about missing anyone etc. Just simple stuff. So the following day I reached out in text and got no response, my heart was telling me to drive to her house to see if she was home. She was and I walked to her bedroom window outside and overheard her arguing with another man 😢.. I'm confused and hurt again. My question to you is.. Do I confront her about her rebound if there's any hope reconnecting again.. I feel like even though we are not together. The truth should've been told instead of me finding out.. Please help me with any advice. Thank you

  7. Rory… thank you again for this video! Really appreciate the way you lay things out so easily.and honestly. It all makes sense when I hear your logic…thanks again.

  8. Thank you Coach…. my proud and somewhat arrogant boyfriend reached out after almost 2months of NO CONTACT. I honestly never thought he would. He sounded nice and warm. I was brief, calm and cordial. I hope there's still a chance for us.. but I'm done being the selfless almost needy partner. Thanks for the coaching from you and a few other online coaches, it's helped strengthen my resolve to re-evaluate my worth and go No Contact.

  9. No contact for me, worked at first, then it didn't, I reached out, communicated with her as an improved version of myself, now we are back together. Is it also about communication?

  10. Hii Rory, can you make a video about an ex who badmouths you? My ex broke up with me bc he didn't love me anymore, and I tried accepting that reason. I applied the no contact rule for about 3 weeks, until a mutual friend (more so his friend) who outed him that towards the end of our relationship he basically hung out with this girl that he caught feelings for. Its now 3 weeks post break up and he is currently in some sort of relationship with her. I know I shouldn't have confronted him, but I did. I try to come off strong but forgiving, he came off defensive and aggresive. He still continue to lie, but I decided not to say anything and forgive him anyway. Towards the end we talked amicably, and I thought we closed everything, but now he's badmouthing about me to other people telling them I'm immature. Honestly I think he feels guilty so he feels the need to defame me, or he still cares about me that he has to give others a reason to justify the break up. But I don't really know.

  11. I absolutely love your channel… after listening to you I actually feel better and can see things differently… but can NC work if you breakup for a second time…

  12. Had my ex reach out 4 months after the break-up. Didn't saw it coming. When she reached out her whole demeanor had changed from ice-cold to excited/warm/nice … told her in an assertive and polite way to fuck off. She promised to leave me alone, that was another 4 months ago. Don't think I'll ever hear from her again, she does have class. I loved her more than any other person in my life, but I certainly meant it. Still love her, probably always will, but it's also a good feeling to be free. Good riddance.

  13. She has reached me out

    Believe me

    Just follow his advice.

    She is the one initiated every time
    She broke up with her rebound too

    I am still happy with myself

    N I fucking didn’t chase her at all.

    Being a dumpee is actually powerful 😂😂

  14. I started following this channel since December

    1: I am making progress with my life.
    2- I learnt a lot about my fear ,my weakness my strength in short I know myself even more better.

    3-let then go don’t manipulate.

    4-be pro-active

    5-I know now what exactly I did to push her away. Gosh glad I am glad I know this now.

    6-don’t jump in relationships coz healing is important n more of all don’t drag any new person in your mess …. NO REBOUNDS

    7- Don’t seek outside validation plzzzz just love yourself learn new thing

    Break up can make your life man.

    Don’t make yourself bitter
    Make yourself successful so that everything will turn out to be amazing

  15. If you were dumped, went into no-contact mode, worked on yourself, you're still available and things unfold so your ex reaches out to you and initiates contact, you've got a serious situation to deal with. You may talk and have more than one conversation. They may gradually mention the relationship and they may not. Whatever. It's important you don't bring it up first. The contact may mean something and it may not. It's vitally important that you don't get into an exchange that goes no place. They're wasting your time. Walk away. Like right now. If they mention reconciling, you need to ask why. AND THEY BETTER HAVE A GOOD ANSWER. This "I missed you" bullshit or the "I was thinking about you" crap is all horseshit. A good way to assess them is to simply say "I need awesome in my life" and see what they say. If they say they need awesome as well, ask them why you should consider getting back together. Have them convince you that you're not just getting lip service. If they don't say they need awesome, walk away because it is now crystal clear you are wasting your time. Love isn't all that makes up a resilient relationship. It's a part but not everything. They could say they love you all day long again. It still does NOT remove what they did to you by dumping you. Or the possibility of doing it yet again. A for-real dumper who has a change of heart and wants another chance will go out on a limb and risk being rejected BECAUSE THEY DECIDED NEED YOU IN THEIR LIFE ABOVE ALL ELSE AND THEY LOVE YOU AND THEY WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET BACK TOGETHER AND STAY THAT WAY. They will know they have a lot of explaining to do and they will do it convincingly. Otherwise, they are not even worth speaking with, as it means they don't truly care about you at all. ZERO. If they did still care but won't reconcile, they would have left you alone to heal because they know they don't want you. Don't be a doormat. You will regret it more than words can say. There is something that hurts even more than being dumped (if that's even possible). It's being dumped AGAIN by a flake you once had a connection with. Seriously. Don't go there. You won't like it.

  16. Hey Rory! Thanks for the videos! 😀 can you do a video on attachment theory? I'm currently confused whether I am securely or anxiously attached. My ex was definitely an avoidant, and he didn't like talking about his feelings(he liked to tell me I think too much and the solution to life is just not to think about things), which was part of the reasons why I acted insecure particularly in the beginning of my relationship: i was a little clingy and needed him to reassure that he loved me often. But at the same time i feel like there are other things that he did that made it natural for me to feel insecure like talking to many existing girl friends online(including his former crush that never worked out), making empty promises, and he sometimes blew me off on plans but always with a legit reason like family issue and health issues, and was brutally honest that he sometimes would rather be with himself or his other friends. I feel like I'm otherwise a securely attached person: I had no problem talking to him in the beginning but because he never really shared his feelings unless I pried things out of his mouth (I had to pry the fact that he liked me and wanted to break up out of his mouth. I truly believe he wouldn't have said anything if I didn't ask him if anything was going on in both cases.) I grew more and more anxious but I was afraid to bring anymore problems up because I fear that would drive him away. I felt like I was the only one having problems in the relationship since whenever I asked him is everything ok he would almost always say yes. Towards the latter half of the relationship I chose to trust him that he loved me and he thought everything was going okay for him despite having my doubts and I consciously tried not to be clingy. I thought everything was fine but he suddenly dropped the bomb on me. I was actually quite surprised with how calm I was at accepting it: i told him I could work on myself more but he said he didn't want me to change and i asked him if he thought it through and he said yes so I just accepted it.

    I never thought he was better than me or anything, quite the opposite actually. I'm confident to say I am normally an alpha female which was part of the reason he was drawn to me in the first place. I came from a supportive happy family, i have wonderful relationships with both of my parents which is partly why I was able to recover from my breakup relatively smoothly, other reasons being having awesome friends and watching your videos and coach Craig Kenneth's videos. I think my neediness mainly came from the fact that he was my first boyfriend and I liked him for a long time secretly before we started going out so I hated the prospect of losing him. I almost feel like he made me more anxious than I normally am. But I'm a little unsure whether there is some anxious attachment intrinsic to me to a certain extent. Any insights? Thank you!

  17. Hello Rory and love chat community, I be been watching these videos since the near beginning and it’s helped tremendously on my own self improvement. However, I have had times of being down from my situation with my ex and wanted to ask for some advice from the local YouTube community. My ex and I broke up in April because she felt as though I was lazy and not goal oriented. To which now in this present day I am working 2 jobs and bettering my body as I have lost nearly 45lbs. But back to the point she started lining up another guy and I called her out on it as she asked him out on a date while we were still together. And at that point I chose to end it. And later as most people who are watching your videos ended up wanting her back because we had a good thing however, I watched these videos as well as some other non-helpful ones. And it worked (for a bit) I went into no contact and she reached out to me in the second week And asked to talk before a class we shared however it wasn’t a good talk she claimed I owed her money and a whole bunch of stuff that wasn’t true. I just saw this as a excuse to try to talk to me to which it was handled poorly. After that I continued with no contact to which she tried to make me jealous as she would flirt with the same guy who also happened to be in the class we shared. But long story short she ended up contacting me again asking for the money and in short she ended up hitting me with her car out of pure anger. Now I don’t think that was her intent but honestly i don’t know anymore. I filed a report with the cops Incase an event like this was to happen again. I didn’t press charges because I cared for her. But then she claimed that I abused her in a report she made. In short it was a long process to which she claimed she was a victim the whole time and refused to apologize until she was facing criminal charges. So from there I thought it was done and over with. But when I eventually got better and decided to date again through tinder her friend told my ex about my profile and then my ex made one to see. Later I found out from a couple of friends that my ex’s friend had said that I cheated on my ex and a whole bunch of crazy lies. I was nothing but loyal to her. I was going ask to marry her. But through this I did nothing cause I didn’t want it to halt my process of growth. But the issue I am having now is that she says she wants nothing to do with me from the last time we spoke but I see she unblocks me and blocks me from time to time. And I guess where I’m getting at here is, I’ve seen a lot of videos from here as well as ones suggested by Rory and I see that they say hate is not the opposite of love, and that even the most extreme breakups can come back. But I guess my question is if an ex tells you to move on and then you do but then they start to spy on you or make lies about you, what’s the point the of all that if they still won’t take you back? I started working and to my surprise my ex shows up and stares but with hate In her eyes. If someone is so done with you why do they hate still? What is the difference between indifference and hatred? And why would an ex want to spread lies if she wanted the break up? Thank you guys for reading and letting me vent. To those who are still going through the struggle I’m here with you guys. Never stop improving. Thanks.

  18. SUCCESS STORY: The Love Chat along with Craig Kenneth, Cory Wayne, and the Dating guy helped me through my depression. At first I thought a success story resulted in getting you’re ex back but that’s not always the case. I feel learning to love myself again was my success story. I hit the gym, dated other women, got involved with school activities, and looking at myself now from this point a year ago I can definitely say I’ve made tremendous improvements although I’m not a finished product yet! Thank you Rory for you’re encouraging words of wisdom and keep at it! I can finally say although there’s time I still miss my ex and think about her I don’t NEED her to be happy because I’ve learned to value myself more!

  19. Hows getting your ex back a good thing? Im trying to understand these get back your ex videos. I dont recommend it personally. People who show a poor sense of judgement to make the decision to leave and abandon you should in my opinion stay away. It takes the right person to value you consistently and to stick around no matter what. Life will drive you closer and not apart. You shouldnt have to improve or prove yourself to anyone. Please move on and be happy and hope they have done the same!

  20. It's been over three months of no contact for me. I'm pretty sure that sooner or later we're gonna bump into each other as we go to a lot of the same music shows. My question is what should you do if you bump into your ex so that I don't undo all the work I've done?

  21. found this chanel to late, she contacted me multiple times and i screwed up big time and even insulted her and even afterwards she asked me if we could get a coffee soon, so yeah they always come back 😀

  22. Hi Rory, What does it mean if your ex is already sleeping around with other women after a breakup? Do people get over the relationship or person quicker after they have slept with other people? Will they forget their exes after??

  23. At first I texted n called n he never replied so I did no contact 7 months now will he still feel the effect of everything still even though at first I text n called? Will he feel still the absence of me even though he is hanging out being with someone else?

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